Stupid things the Marauders, Sirius, do
by EmpressesPenguinOfTheUniverse
Summary: Sirius drinks blackcoffee, and other stupid things they do. Takes place in their 7th year. including Siruis getting amnsia!
1. coffee?

I changed this chapter so all the mistakes are fixed!

Disclaimer- I am not jkrolling for if I was I would e sitting by a swimming pool drinking ice tea. But am not oh well

Please excuse the bad spelling and punctuation

**Stupid thing the Marauders (Sirius) did **

Chapter 1 - getting there and other events

Sirius ran as fast as he could though the barer on to platform 9 ¾ dragging his heavy trunk behind him, and crashed into someone right on the other side.

"Sorry" he panted, still out of breath from running

"Sirius," said a familiar voice, "you okay, looks like you've been hit with a stick." It was Remus, one of Sirius's best friends. Remus and Sirius were entering there 7th year of school, along with James Potter,(Sirius best friend) and Peter Pettigrew, there other friends

"Oh, hi Remus, a hand bag actually, a big red one"

"Who…." Remus asked in a puzzled voice

"My mum, she dropping of Regulus and saw me and said. "If you do not get out of my sight this instant I knock you flat" then she hit me and I ran for my life." Sirius answered in a discussed voice.

"Ouch," Remus cringed "that must have hurt, do you have any idea what was in there"

"Probably things, that only a woman would like, you know like makeup and crap." it was James who had come up behind the two marauders "and you are blocking the entrance.

"Ooops," said Sirius and Remus together

"Sirius your mother talked to my mum, after you had run away." Said James laughing slightly

"She said that my mum is an ungrateful woman, and then went on and said things like this "I raised my child the way I saw fit, and your son that taught him that the world is made up into good and evil, and than your parents are on the wrong side, that is what your son said to him I know it, and your son got him into Gryffindor, if that's not bad enough, He runs of and lives with you, oh you are the worst people I know, get out of here now, you mudblood lovers,….. Crappy….. You evil… I think you need to die you….. Taking my son away…. And other things that I can't remember, but I think she got her point through."

"She did not" Sirius said shocked and angry "I'll kill her, I'll make her die in that trench I dug when I was a kid I'll..."but they could not here the rest of what he said, for he was walking off into the crowd.

James and Remus exchanged glances then followed

"Where'd he go?" Remus said after searching for some time

But before James could say I don't know there was a sound as thought an explosion had taken place and someone (a woman by the sound of it) started to scream.

James a Remus looked at each other and ran towards the source of the noise. When they got there they say a ring of people standing around a large woman and two boys. One was (naturally) Sirius and he was yelling at the woman at the top of his voice.

"Listen woman!!" He yelled as James and Remus squeezed passed to get a good look.

"How dare you…" the lady (who was incidentally Mrs. Black) screeched back

"The Potters are twice the people you will ever be!"

"They are blood traders… they…"

"You are a fowl old lady, who is not even worthy to call herself a descent witch!"

"No!!! You are the one who…"

"Don't talk to me" Sirius spat "your such an…an" know Sirius Black was not one to not know what to say, he always had something to say, and always said it. But at this moment it seemed there was just no way to describe how awful his 'mother' was. Soon however he got it.

"You're such and orange pickled fish!!!"

James and Remus stared. True Sirius was the worst comeback person ever, but orange pickled fish? Though Sirius was not done yet.

"I hate you, you anteater chicken, elf, rat (no offence meant to my friend who is one) lemur person thing, narwhale, pink tie man!! Your are such a **bran muffin**!!!!"

At this Mrs. Black fell over in a dead faint right on top of Regulus who caught her and stared at Sirius. It looked like he was going to say something but Sirius cut him off.

"Don't make me start on you Regulus" he spat his brothers name as though it might poison him. Then he turned around and march off towards James a Remus who were still staring. And said "lets go!"

James and Remus Followed him, still wearing shocked expressions from what they just witnessed, along down the crowed station, Sirius still muttering things that sounded like "and when she's no looking I'll put her in a dumpster and then get though huge muggle electronic car things, and crash into the dumpster, ya that's good and then….."

"Sirius" started Remus "you really should not talk that way about your mother I mean she loves you somewhere… deep down… at the bottom of her heart… but she still loves you."

"Yay she loves me as much as I hate her, which is about, let's see……..I hate her about this much" Sirius held his hand wide apart. "And she loves me about this much." Sirius held up two fingers and pushed them together.

"See the space?"

"No"

"Good because there is none that is how much she loves me 0"

"Fine I'll drop it" muttered Remus

When the reached the train they saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter talking to Mrs. and Mr. Longbotton and their son Frank. Frank was in there year. Her was a nice kid but a little stupid and slow. He was currently dating Alice. Alice was 7th year girl who was also in Gryffindor, and was the perfect mach for Frank.

"Hey guys need some help?" Frank asked after seeing there three heavy trunks

"Thanks, Frank" Remus said gratefully

"So Sirius" said Frank grinning as they loaded Remus trunk on " I heard you had a argument with your mother."

Sirius shot him a nasty look but did not say anything because the whistle sounded and the boys had to hurry onto the train.

"Bye dear." called Mrs. Potter "have a good term!"

"Frank be careful!" called Mrs. Longbotton

"Bye" all four boys called and waved out the window until they were swallowed up by the roar of the train and people shifting around.

"Well. Times a wasting" yelled Sirius who was back to his happy self after yelling to his mother.

He then ran to the nearest compartment, flung open the door and called at the top of his voice.

"I am Sirius, Emperor of everything, get up and let me and my friends sit here!!"

However this plan did not worked to well as he found himself looking into the perfects carriage, where the prefects were all sitting. They all looked up to see sirius and one of them said "what in the name of Merlin?"

But Remus, who was the only one not laughing pulled Sirius out of the way and said very politely "Sorry my friend is a bit screwed up." Then he dragged Sirius to the first compartment that was empty (which turned out to be the last one) flung him into a seat, sat down and pulled out a book and begun to read. James and Frank soon turned up still laughing there head off. (I did not make Remus a prefect because James is head boy)

"Wow" said James "that was sure something, Mooney"

"What??" Remus asked innocently.

"You just dragged Sirius down, like 20 cars to the end of the train, and then you start to read without saying anything. I mean don't you thing that was a little what the word…is..."

"Painful" Sirius filled in rubbing his arm "you sure can pinch Remus; it's like your part animal or something!"

"Thank you" Remus replied still absorbed into his book.

The train ride was long and for the first hour Sirius sat there fuming at his mother and after another hour he kept saying

"Mooney I'm board, Mooney I 'm board, Mooney I'm board. Entertain me Prongs please!!!!"

Eventually Remus got so annoyed with that he threw exploding snap cards at him which exploded in Sirius face. Making his hair (his lovely, lovely hair) caught on fire, which kept him busy for some time.

Soon James, who was head boy, had to go and give the Prefects there behavior rules speech, and left a very annoyed Sirius behind

"You just had to be head boy didn't you Prongs"

"Apparently" he answered

The train ride was extremely boring after James had left. But soon Peter turned up and Sirius entertain him self by asking Peter stupid Questions like

"If you have 1 cup of stupid and had retarded to it what do you get?"

To which Peter would say"

"You get idiot or wait you get…"

Remus was getting really annoyed and said "Sirius stop it at least do something useful on the train ride!"

"That right Pranks. Prong where that list is?" he asked James who had just turned up again

Once James got out the list Sirius read it out loud

Pranks for 7th year 

1) Turn Slytherin common room into nursery

2) Have Snape hug every one he sees

3) Makes people look like balloons

4) Change Slytherin robes to be pink and have flowers in there hair

5) Have Minnie take her hair down (its always in a bun)

6) Create explosion in history of magic to see if Binns notices

7) Get back at Minnie for giving me 97 detentions last year

8) Put tarantulas in Snape's hair and see if it dies from touching him

"Only eight?" asked Remus in a shocked voice "I thought you would have way more!"

"Are you kidding this is for the first week!"

Later that night the five boys James, Sirius, Remus, Frank and Peter were all in there dorm getting ready to 'attempt' to sleep.

Remus was thinking "anther year here we go"

James was thinking "yay I'm back, I wonder what sort of prank we can pull on snivilles this year."

Frank was wondering were he had put his toothbrush

Peter was already asleep (and snoring loudly I might add)

And Sirius was wondering, if it was bad to eat potato skins. For he had eaten one at dinner.

"Hey James" Sirius asked "is it bad to eat potato skins?"

"What?!"

"You mean I am going to die!!!"

"Sirius what the…" called Remus, but never finished for Sirius was yelling

"And I will **never** eat potatoes again!!"

"Sirius calm down, potato skins can't…"

"Goodbye James, Remus I hope I go to a better place. And tell my mum she insane."

And Sirius keeled over right onto Peter bed on top of the sleeping Peter. Who woke with a start saw Sirius, who was pretending to be dead, thought it was real and screamed at the top of his voice,

"Sirius is dead, Sirius is dead!!!"

"Peter he's not..." began James, who was trying and failing to stop from laughing, Remus was already on the floor cracking up.

But Frank ran out of the room and yelled "What happened!!"

Peter was still yelling "Sirius is dead, Sirius is dead!!!"

And as only can be expected boys from different rooms were running into the room yelling and girl showed up and started crying and yelling (for one of the most popular boys in school were dead). For they did not see Sirius faking death, or James and Remus laughing. They Saw Sirius dead on the bed and James and Remus crying with grief.

James and Remus were laughing so hard that it looked, and felt like they were going to puke.

Soon Remus caught his breath and shouted

"Sirius get up this minuet!"

Everyone went very quiet. Except for James who was still trying to catch his breath.

Sirius, who was doing a very good job of playing dead but with a slight smile on his lips said

"No, I have died."

"Sirius potato skins can't kill you. Your fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Positive"

"Yes"

"Good" and Sirius got up so quickly that people gasped in surprise

"Why are you all here?" Sirius asked, smiling at them all "come to bring me joy?"

Laughing everyone left while James asked Lily Evens out, she said no then left. While Sirius, Remus and Frank were still laughing, and watching James try and fail to get lily on a date, again.

Peter who was still shocked asked "what happened?"

"Pete you are so slow" James answered angrily having been turned down again

Yaya my first chapter done I hoped you liked it please review. And sorry for all the spelling a mistakes love Empresspenginoftheunivece


	2. you have GOT to be kidding me

Well here is the net chapter. Joy!!

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry potter or any one else

Chapter 2 – pink wrapping paper and Christmas carols

The next morning, James, Sirius and Remus where sitting at the breakfast table, eating eggs and bacon Peter was still in bed

"I wonder what coffee takes like with out milk or sugar." Sirius said with a puzzled look

"Gross!" said James

"Maybe not" he said. And Sirius grabbed the coffee jar and sloshed some into his mug

"Sirius" warned Remus, "you are already hyper than any normal person, and coffee will not help."

But Sirius ignoring Remus' warning and drained the cup of coffee in one gulp.

There was a long silence in witch Sirius' eyes seemed to come out of his head

"Sirius" said James warily

"MORE!!!!!" Sirius yelled. So that the hall was utterly silenced, every eye was on

Sirius.

"No way Sirius, that's enough for you." said Remus grabbing the mug from him.

"But, but, but, but, I, I, I, need, need it!!!!!!!"

"No you do not!"

"Yes I do!!" he said in a determined way.

"Sirius your eyes are already twice the size of your face from that one glass they might explode from another one." James said in an amused voice

"Yes, yes, I do!!!!"

Then Sirius made a huge leap across the table scattering Remus' eggs, and spilling juice everywhere, grabbed the coffee pot and pored it into his open mouth.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then he jumped of the table, and still screaming, started to run around in tight little circles making violent exclamations.

"Black!" It was professor McGonagall "what are you doing!"

But Sirius either was into much pain to answer or could not hear her said nothing.

"He drank back coffee professor." James said trying to hold back the urge to laugh, as he whipped Remus' eggs of his shirt

"Oh" said McGonagall as if that explained everything "Black," she screamed "STOP THIS MINUTE!"

Sirius stopped running, though his tough was hanging out of his mouth, he looked a lot like a dog.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin please takes Mr. Black to the hospital wing now if you please. And when he is himself tell him he has detention with me tomorrow night and the night after that at 6:00pm in my office."

So James and Remus grabbed Sirius by the arms and dragged him off to the hospital wing. Where Madam Pomfrey got rid of the hotness in his mouth, and gave him a potion that would enable to have him to have a semi normal day.

Though even with that potion Sirius could not stop talking and would go on and on saying things like,

"do you remember when we were sorted I do I thought I was going to be in Slytherin and you though you were going to be in Gryffindor and you were right and Remus you thought were going to be in Ravenclaw, Peter was always a Hufflepuff person, do you remember?" take a breath then laugh (Remus thought he was going insane) and would go on forever.

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About a week alter all four marauders were sitting at the breakfast table, James staring at lovely Lily Evans, Remus had his head stuck in a book, and Peter was staring at the note his mother had sent him and frowning. Sirius looked casually at James and Remus and reached slowly towards the coffee pot. Quick as lighting James and Remus grabbed the two nearest coffee pots and continued what they were doing.

"Come on guys, you got to let me have coffee eventually!" whined Sirius

"No way Sirius, not after the last time." James said

"But I do not even remember the last time!!"

"Ya but we do, the position that Poppy gave you made you forget everything, except that black coffee was bad, bad, bad!!, that was what you said all night after the coffee." Remus said in an annoyed way.

"Ya that was the worst night ever" Peter said "none of us got any sleep even me and that is something."

"That must have been so cool, you got to stay up all night, come on guy's one sip?"

"NO" James and Remus roared

"Well I learned my lesson."

"What's that?" Remus asked

"Black coffee makes your friend think you suck!"

"No, black coffee is bad, bad, bad" Remus said laughing at Sirius look of discus

"So does that mean I can have it with milk and sugar?"

"No"

"Why not!"

"Because you'll do something stupid, I can guarantee that, you'll probably drink every coffee pot here and we'll haft to have another _**Sirius drank coffee day**_!!!!!!" said Remus angrily

"Fine, but one day when you are all asleep I will get coffee"

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Later that same day the Marauders were in the common room at about 10:00pm, Sirius's detention was done, and they were sitting on the sofas doing nothing.

"I am bored, bored, bored, bored...!!" Sirius sang grumpily

"Well then do something" said Remus angrily "you have been sitting there for 20minnuts singing 'I'm bored' and not doing anything!"

"Right I have an idea" Sirius said jumping to his feet and running up stairs to the dorm

"What does he have in mind" James asked looking words Remus with a worried expression

"I don't want to know" Remus replied looking scared

At that moment Sirius came charging down the stairs with fluffy pink wrapping paper and then ran out of the common room into the corridor singing "joy to the world." Then they heard the fat lady call "Dear what are you doing!?"

"Oh no! Sirius!" James called, jumping up and running after him, Remus and Peter followed close behind

They ran out into the corridor and looked down it no one was there

"Which way did he go" James whispered

"That way dear's hurry he looked almost too happy!" cried the fat lady

So James ran down the hall after him and Remus and Peter fallowed. Half way down James whipped out his invisibility cloak and the three of them scampered under it.

"Sirius, Padfoot!" called James

"What was he doing?" Peter asked

"I have no idea, I'm scared to know"

Then they heard him. He was laughing, around the bend, so they followed his voice and then they saw him. He was wrapping up one of the suites of armor to look like a big Christmas present and was singing this song to, 'hark the herald angels sing'

"I am Sirius and I am cool

Tra lalalalalala

You should all bow down to me

Tra lalallala

I think that you are ugly

Tra lalalalal

Are you are, I am handsome

Tra lalalala lala la la!!!!!!!"

"What kind of song is that" said James throwing of the clock and clutching his stomach for laughing so hard, as Remus and Peter laughed.

"My Christmas of no lies song" called Sirius said indigently

"Its not Christmas yet Sirius!" said Remus

"I don't care

Tralallalallalalllalallaaalallalalalalalallalalalalalalalal"

"Sirius comes on before..."

"Before what Mr. Potter?" it was Professor McGonagall

"Before someone realizes its not Christmas" He answered hopefully

"Good try Potter. 50 points from Gryffindor, and detention all of you."

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I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!!


	3. it is not a good idea to turn your teach

Disclaimer- I am not nor ever will be JK Rowling

Chapter 3- it is not a good idea to turn your teacher orange

**Sirius Black **

**Transfiguration-detention **

…

55) I will never turn my teacher orange

56) I will never turn my teacher green

57) I will never turn my teacher yellow

58) I will never turn my teacher any color

59) I will never turn my teacher into a kumquat

60) 1 will not turn my teacher into a pie (no make how good pies are)

61) I will not turn my teacher into any other inanimate object…..

**Remus Lupin **

**Transfiguration-detention **

…

76) Teachers are there to teach us not to have us turn them different colors

77) Such as orange

78) Pink

79) Blue

80) Yellow

81) Turquoise

82) Any other interesting colors……

**James Potter **

**Transfiguration-detention **

…

90) From now on I will not change my teacher colors

91) For this would be rude

92) And I do not think I want another detention

93) Even though I will get one tomorrow

94) And you will yell at us again for I am sure we will do something…

"Okay boys you can clean up it is 11:00, shoo!"

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"Thank god I thought I was never going to get out of there!!" Sirius moaned

"I am never writing again" James said looking at his hands

"I can't believe she made us write 100 things never to do to a teacher" Sirius whined

"Well in her defense, we did make her orange" Remus told them

_Flashback_

The four boys were all sitting in the court yard on a brisk Wednesday morning, (they had a free period.) James was sitting staring at the girls, mostly Lily Evens (no surprise) Remus was reading, Peter was watching Sirius draw in the dirt with a stick.

"I think that the sky is way to dull in September, don't you?" said Remus putting down his book.

"I think the sky could only be interesting if it was pink." Sirius said

"Pink, why pink?"

"Because is the most manly color anywhere!"

"No I think you are getting confused with fuchsia"

"Fuchsia? What kind of color in that?"

"You've never seen fuchsia?"

"Nope never had but I bet it's a type of yellow."

"No, and why would you think that"

"Yellow, every werewolf's favorite color" Sirius smirked at the annoyed and frustrated look on Remus' face.

"Fuchsia is a pink"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is"

"What are you arguing about?" James asked snapping about of his reverie, as Lily had gone inside

"James, tell Remus that fuchsia is a type of yellow" Sirius said

"James tell Sirius that fuchsia is a type of pink" said Remus

"You were arguing about what color fuchsia is?" said James laughing

"Yes" they said together

"That is so stupid!"

"Nothing compared to the argument you get up to with him" Remus said nodding towards Sirius

"Well at least I am not always stuck in a book"

"I get everything done on time though"

"You discussed me!"

"Stop. You're stupid. Fuchsia looks like this Sirius", and James turned Sirius bright pink

"Two can play at that game", and Sirius turned James yellow

_As you can imagine, this did not end pretty_

"You three stop this minute!!" a voice screeched

Three wands fell to the ground at the same moment clattering across the stone-covered courtyard.

"What have you done!!!!!!"

The boys turned slowly around and saw McGonagall. Only she didn't look like McGonagall, for she was bright orange from head to toe. The boys stared. They had seen an angry McGonagall before after all, but that was nothing to an angry orange McGonagall.

"You boys are in deep, deep trouble." She said but they saw her mouth twitch as though she was going to smile. She was looking at them.

Then the three boys got a good look at how they looked and stared. Sirius' shiny black hair was now a light turquoise color, and the rest of him was bight yellow. Remus was green colored top to bottom except for orange spots on his hair and face. James was all different colors; his legs were brown, his arms were yellow, his face and hair were red, and the rest of him was white. James stood out the most. Peter, however, had not been in the fight but had watched and had gotten hit was the perfect shade of fuchsia.

"That is fuchsia Sirius" said James laughing

"Come!" McGonagall yelled

And they followed her to their doom.

_End flash back_

"Well, we did live. I mean I thought we were going to get it" said Remus

"Me too" said James

"I didn't," said Sirius and seeing their expressions he continued, "she has a soft spot for me, Minnie does."

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Please review!!!!!!!!


	4. a morning like no other

Chapter 5 Thursday - Han gliding with Peter

**Chapter 4 – a morning like no other **

I am sorry!! I have not updated in like forever!!

Disclaimer- not nor ever will be!!

The Sun shone so brightly form the ceiling of the great hall that it hurt to look up at it. It was a cold Saturday morning and most of the school was eating breakfast. A single ray of sunshine fell on the Gryffindor table in-between two boys who seemed to be fighting.

"Sirius, you could just eat your food instead of playing with it." Remus Lupin said coldly, watching his friend juggle his strawberries.

"Fine!"' the berries fell, one after another on Remus' head.

"Thanks I really needed that." Remus said as he whipped berry goop from his hair.

"You are quite welcome Mooney!" Sirius cried happily, grinning wide, and looking quite pleased with himself for making his friends day.

Remus shook his head, 'why was he friends with this weirdo anyway?' he asked himself for the 4th time that morning.

"Mooney? Why are you always shaking your head?" Sirius asked while took a piece of bacon from the table.

"Because of your immense ability to be stupid." Remus said with a death glare in his direction.

Sirius looked puzzled, until his face lit up and he said "ooh, you mean my dashing good looks! Why thank you!

Remus shook his head again, and was about to take a bite of toast when it was snatched away from him.

"Hey!" he cried indigently

"Look James!" said Sirius holding up Remus toast "it looks like a bear!!"

"No I think it looks more like a cat." Said James examining the toast with great concentration.

"James!!" Remus yelled annoyed "I want my toast back!"

James who was ignoring him said "Hey Peter what do you think Cat or Bear?"

"Cat."

"PADFOOT! Let me have my toast back!"

"All right, keep your wolflyness in."

"Thank you." He said looked very annoyed. And was about to take a bite out of it, when for the second time that morning, it was snacked out of his hand.

"Padfoot please let me eat." Said Remus crossly

"NO! You can't eat him!"

"What??"

"Food has feeling too!" Remus sat there gulping like a fish out of water starring at Sirius in shock.

"Sirius," said James, in a slow voice "its food, people eat it."

"NO! They can't eat Bob!!" he spat clutching Remus toast to his chest

"Bob?? You named my toast!!" Remus yelled, snapping out his trance.

"Yes."

"Whatever." Remus muttered reaching for another piece.

"NO!" Sirius yelled grabbing the basket of toast

"Padfoot I'm hungry!"

"Stop eating we must protest!!" Sirius yelled

Then he jumped onto the table and called to the hall.

"All of you stop eating!"

They all stopped

"Oh good lord" muttered James

"You all must stop, food has feeling too! Why do you hurt it so?" He looked around the stunned crowed

"Good now you all must pick up your food and let it go free into the wild!"

laughter

"NO I mean it! Save your food!"

"Why would we do that?" a Slytherin called "we would like to eat." And he took a bite of food

The effect was predictable. The food jumped of the table and hovered in the air. (With the help of Sirius wand)

"You can't eat it!"

"Mr. Black please control yourself!"

"But Minnie!" Sirius whined "I can't let them eat this food, for even food has a heart!"

"Obviously the food took his brain." Remus heard someone mutter.

"Now, you will all take your food out side…"

"Mooney look." Said James tapping Remus in the shoulder and pointing. Remus followed his gaze and gasped.

There was an empty pot of coffee and a spilled mug, lying where Sirius had been sitting.

--

Du du da!! Yayaya another chapter finished! It was a really short one! I how it was good again any spelling/ punctuation issues! SORRY!


	5. who are you?

**You all must hate me. I have not updated in months. And I feel really bad about it. **

**So I have decided to write that next chapter to this now! In the next hour. **

**Here we are **

The two boys looked up at Sirius and then back down at the coffee pot.

"Oh my dear god." Remus Lupin said. "What should we do?"

"We need to get everyone out of the hall before they are all killed." James said as he watched Sirius jump from table to table yelling at them for eating food.

"FOOD DOES TOO HAVE FEELING!"

"No that won't work everyone is hungry." Remus said looking around "our best chance is to get him out of the hall and strap him into a chair until the coffee wears off."

"Ok, oh he is going to be so dead!" watching Sirius jump onto the teachers table and address the school.

"STUDENTS! WE ARE NOT TO BE EATING FOOD!"

"No way!" yelled a Slytherin, but Sirius ignored him

"AND THIS FOOD HAS FEELING! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IS YOU WERE SPRINKLED IN SALT AND THEN EATEN! I DO NOT THINK YOU WOULD BE VERY HAPPY!"

"Well as we are not food..." someone said.

"I AM GOING TO SET THIS FOOD FREE! WHERE IT WILL BE HAPPY! SAVING THIS FOOD GO IS THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO!" And with this Sirius jumped off the table and walked out of the great hall, his wand raised high and all the food trailing along behind him.

"Oh no!" Remus said jumping up; he and James ran out of the hall after him. Many of the students followed, looking forward to the fun.

"SIRIUS BLACK! YOU ARE HAVING DETENTION FOR A MONTH AFTER THIS!" shouted a furious McGonagall, from the staff table where she had fallen into the nearest chair she could find.

--

"Sirius! Sirius!" Remus ran out of the school after him. Sirius was laughing, running around with the food tailing after him like a multicolored cloud.

"SIRIUS!" James screamed as load as he could. Sirius looked behind him a started look upon his face. He then tripped over a rock and fell to the ground with a load crash. The food fell, falling into the soft grass, many of it had not made its way out of the entrance hall before there flight had abruptly ended, had fallen onto the students who had watched this scene with curiosity.

The teachers came out of the school, McGonagall in the lead, many of them looked as thought they where trying to withhold laughter that threatened to pour from them at any moment.

"Mr. Black!" McGonagall yelled "This is a disgrace! You will be in my office at eight o'clock every night for the next two mouths and be happy it is not more!" With that she stormed up the stairs. Sirius who seamed to have been knocked unconscious by the fall, made no reply.

"Padfoot!" James yelled running over. Remus close behind. "We better get him up the hospital wing." James grabbed his legs and dragged them across the yard, as Remus held his arms. They made there way into the crowd of people, who where eagerly talking to one another about the latest Sirius Black moment that they had witnessed.

Dragging Sirius up the steps to the great hall the two marauders where greeted by Peter who without even asking helped them take the stupid guy up to the hospital wing.

Madam Pomfrey had always fussed over her patents, but Sirius seamed to be one of her personal favorites, and as the three marauders dragged the boy into her hospital wing, she went about grabbing potions, and bottles that where helpful in some way.

"What did he do this time!" she asked as they dropped him onto the nearest bed.

"Knocked himself out on the grass." Remus supplied Looking like he was going to laugh. "He had coffee again."

"Oh, when will he learn?! Coffee! They should really band it from the school! I remember Donald Micdubert! He was a coffee addict and was always getting into the worst kinds of trouble!" she muttered to herself as she dumped something into Sirius open mouth. "He should be fine in a few minutes." She added to James as she walked

Into her office.

--

"Uggg…"

"Look! I think he is waking up!"

"Shut up you moron!"

"Why? SIRIUS! IT TIME TO GET UP!!"

"Shut up Peter he most likely has a huge headache."

"Well it is _his_ fault that he would have a headache, I mean he was the one who drank all that coffee." James said knowledgeably.

"Oh shut up." Remus mumbled

"Ugg… I feel awful!" Sirius sat up, looking up he saw the three marauders who where bending over him. "What happened?" he asked them.

"You had coffee again!" Remus said shaking his head.

"Did I?" he asked looking surprised. "Why did I do that? And who are you" he added looking at Remus in a mildly puzzled manner.

"What do you mean? I am Remus?!" Sirius continued to look at him in a mystified manner. "You know Remus Lupin?" Remus was getting more hysterical, he could tell that Sirius had no idea who he was. "A fellow Gryffindor in your year!"

"Gryffindor? Is that some kind of steak?" he asked

"I am Mooney! ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS!!" Remus screamed to the high heavens.

"Nope I don't recall ever seeing you. How about this guy? The one with the funny hair, and glasses." Sirius said pointing at James.

"Dude it is me? James Potter? And funny hair! My hair rocks!" Sirius shook his head looking James up and down.

"Dude! You _live _with me!" James said looking shocked

"Oh I get it! We are like brothers?"

"NO! You ran away from home!"

Just them Lily walked in, she said she was there to make sure Sirius was ok. But she was really there cause she wanted to yell at him and James for being morons.

"Hey Sirius." She said walking in.

"Hey." Sirius said looking at her a dreamy look in his eyes "You are one hot chick."

After this statement three things happened, James dived onto Sirius screaming something about how Lily was "his girl". Lily slapped Sirius and then walking out, a look of pure evil on her face. And a look of dawning comprehension appeared on Remus face.

"Boy's! BOYS!" madam Pomfrey was back. "What are you doing?"

"Madam! I think Sirius has amnesia." Remus piped up before any one else could say a thing.

"Really? Sirius." She snapped. But Sirius showed no sign that someone was talking to him. "Sirius!" again nothing.

"Sirius Black!" she called again.

"Okay whoever this Sirius guy is better come out right now he is beginning to annoy me." Sirius said.

"Well Mr. Lupin it appears you where right, Mr. Black does indeed have amnesia."

"What!" James yelled! "Amnesia! NO!" he grabbed the front of Sirius pajamas and screamed "Sirius comes back to us!"'

"Hey man! Get off of me!" Sirius said pushing James away.

"So what do we do?" Peter asked.

"Well there is nothing I can do for him you will haft to tell him about his life. And eventually he will begin to get flash backs. Soon all his memories will come back to him and he will be just fine. However he will not remember what happened while he had amnesia. I will inform the headmaster of this and I suggest that you tell him about himself and then take him back to the common room?"

"Oh." Said Peter looking very shocked at the long answer he had received. Pomfrey walked any leaving the three sane marauders to deal with the four...Um... Other one…

"So…er…Sirius?" Remus said to him "that is you."

"Is it? Oh well that makes more sense I thought you where all talking about some star."

"Anyway." James said. "You are Sirius Orion Black.

"Well that is unfortunate, imagine being named S.O.B." He said "What was my mother thinking."

"Yeah… Well anyway I am James Potter, This is Remus Lupin, and here is Peter Pettigrew. Got it?"

"Why yes! You are Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew." He said looking proud.

"No, No. We are James, Remus, and Peter." James said trying not to laugh, Peter was sniggering.

"Oh, ok! I got it!" He said happily.

"Ok, so we are your best friends."

"Really! No way! That is soo cool!" Sirius was jumping up and down happily.

"Ok…So you ran away from home this past summer, and you now live with me." James said pointing to himself.

"Why?" Sirius asked looking sad suddenly.

"Well you see your mother hates you..." James said scuffling his feet.

"WHAT! How dare you say that! I will have you know that I am sure that my mother loves me very much and I would never run away from home! I am sure my mother is very worried about me right now!" Sirius said angry, glaring at James.

"This is going to take a while." Muttered Remus to James and Peter they nodded in agreement and looked at the bed where Sirius sat still looking mad and confused.

**Ok I know this is not the best. Well review! **


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